Every Day by Carly Comando

This song currently reflects my feelings and thoughts right now! =))

That moment.

I stood blankly for about 10 seconds, outside my parent's room. My mind was literally blank, I felt like falling but I wouldn't let myself. I lost my name, my location, my entire mental state which kept me sane. I don't even know why I'm standing there, or what I was going to do next. I even lost the ability of speech - I wanted to shout help but I couldn't.

It all happened so slowly yet fast. It felt like time was stopped on my, while conciously I feel it moving through me. It was like looking at myself standing there.

And the next moment I pressed my hand and rotated the door knob. I regained conscious. I was just going from my room to my mom's room to take water.

That was my moment of empty-headedness.

Scary. I just woke up at 10.30pm to help someone do something, and that scary moment came unexpectedly and unknowningly. Felt so sick =/

I told another person that I found that his/her blog by accident, and that I only read the latest post because after I finish that post, I realized I'm like the only reader feeling. The next moment that blog was private-d. I kind of felt insulted, but it faded away when I thought logically. Sometimes people just wants privacy. I respect that, especially since my only privacy left is online. My room's invaded, and I really hate it when people off my lights while I'm using computer!

It spoils my eye-sight you know?

Side-tracked. Come back Weilson!

Anyways, I think I cannot talk well on phones. =/ I am still an introvert? Although with all due respect I know you look at me like I'm some hyperactive kid always looking for attention and never runs out of topics to joke about. The problem with me is I never am able to tell jokes just like that. You need to strike a conversation for me to carry on fueling.

I prefer to keep quiet then talk. Seriously! I'd rather type than talk. Because when I talk on certain things, I get tongue tied.

Right now, I feel like taking a long walk along a quiet beach or anywhere quiet, with the cool night air and clear my mind. It probably won't happen unless I ton at sentosa alone!

Sometimes, it's really hard to put it into words...

I think it's really true the way you say, "sometimes, friends are not who you think they are." I think it really takes understanding and true affinity to really know someone.

Yet I think there is nobody who will know you to the max. So to me, anyone who is able to gel with me, and I like that person, that's my friend. Anyone who is able to continue after some time, that's my good friend. Best friend? Probably anyone who is able to withstand and truly stand by my true nature side.

There was once someone who truly cared, and was always around. Even though that someone didn't always understand my stand, that someone always tried. But I didn't really cherish, and I lost that someone. At that moment, I was thinking of finding someone who could really understand me. And up till now, there's no one who truly understood me. Perhaps I'm too complicated, either way I have to change that thinking now.

Now, I think that there must be something called 'Affinity' and 'Care'. Of course, the most important thing is to feel comfortable and happy with that someone.

I have this message which I kept for a long long time. It's about a boy and the corn.

Ron and his sister Jill was sent to grandpa's farm for a short holiday. One day, grandpa decided to teach both of them a life lesson.
"Ron and Jill, we are going to play a game today! The game goes: You are to go out to the corn field, and pick the biggest corn you see! The winner is the one who has the biggest corn! However, there's conditions. Once you pluck it, you have to come back. And you are not allowed to turn back to pluck the corn you passed by."
So Ron and Jill set off to find their big corn! Jill came to the third corn, and pluck it because she finds that the first two corn has been really small.
Ron on the other hand, being much greedier, went further. By the 15th corn, it was really big. But thinking that there will be bigger corns, he proceeds on. By the time he came back, he was holding onto a really small corn.
Grandpa asked him, "Why did you get such a small corn?" Ron replied, "I looked the entire field, but the corns are really small at the end! This is so unfair!"
Grandpa then looked at him and said, "In the corn field, you are able to see bigger corns in front of you, and go for it. But in life, you are not able to predict the future and who you might meet."

Food for thought.

Feeling really tired already!

I think fatigue has caught up to me. All the late night outs, the tonning, the works, the thinkings, all the things - have tire me out, and the effects are setting in.

I see dark rings, and mental block at times! And my face..bad enough now even worse!

Yesterday's outing was supposed a laser quest event, but turned out differently. I'm not pleased nor sad about the out-turn, shows I'm adaptable to changes either way. But I really wanted to try out laser quest! Perhaps one day out with sis' clan ayes? =)

I think sometimes challenging ourselves are really cool and great, but where is that limit for ourselves? Only we know, and only I myself know my own limits. But I don't seem to see myself crossing any limits, or am I just pushing it without me knowing, or with me knowing but choosing to ignore that fact?

I'm signing up for StandardChartered 42km, my first marathon. Gathered advices and tips around places you never thought I'd look to, but yes that is my choice. I only hope I am able to run that race, doesn't matter if hours after the race I'll go back into camp, but that shall be my challenge. MY challenge.

There are many things running through my mind, and even if I want to stop it, I can't seem to focus. It's disturbing, really disturbing. I think I need to get back to healthy sleeping habit.

Stumbled upon this, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0

I find that's really cool! You know, for the entire duration of my life, I never wanted to live like any other ordinary individuals. At least for most of my time, I wanted to be different. In any positively happening way ever! Doing something unique and dreaming of interesting and fun acts are always part of my routine in my dreams. Flash mob at NP Busstop is one of my dreams coming true! =)



There's going to be nothing ordinary about me. Everything will be extra-ordinary! Let my creativity and wild imagination overwhelm you!

I once asked a friend whether he/she would accept something out of the extra ordinary, like from a boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife? That friend tells me that everybody is very open to surprises, but if it includes things too surprising and possibly causing an embarassment to him/her, it would be really hateful!

Since then, I've always wondered who will be able to accept my dynamic range of surprises. She must be a really special individual aye?

SDC

Today is worth blogging. because it's the first time i work for LDR, and today's at the Singapore Discovery Centre (SDC)! It's really fun there, and i think we should all go visit there some time! there are many interesting things happening. be it history or future, it's very interesting to see and hear. in some cases, feel!

the group i handled today was really cool. they're from Pungol Sec, and sec 4. 4 girls and 3 guys - Fiqah, Iykin, Fee, Azy, Afat, Eddie, Jia Jing. they're really cool, unlike any other groups i've taken. probably the best so far? the only thing lacking in this team is the opportunity for each and every single one of them to shine, and the ability to make decisions effectively. =) they got potential to be great leaders!

anyways, after that came home and decided on a jog! okay it's not normal to blog about this, but something funny happened luh. while jogging past Jurong West Secondary, a bunch of girls were behind the locked main gates! there's another lady just in front of the school calling, probably the security or something to unlock the gates. anyways, they were hilarious because they look like some imps from hell wanting to break loose! lols.

anyways, ran for quite awhile. tomorrow gonna go FPS, and thereafter go NP for another round of jog. hope to break 40 minutes =/ but i think i might not bring all the weights. i feel my ankle hurts from wearing it =/

see how tomorrow goes bah. =)

sometimes, i wish wish wish...hmmmm...too much.

F&S?

it's always soothing to be listening to nice music. but what exactly is nice? everytime we hear something more pleasing to the ear, we deem that as nice. everybody have their own taste, mine? changes through mood. perhaps this is what most would agree with me =)

while waiting, i thought, "why not just blog?" later going out to celebrate MQ's birthday. not actually a big one, but a simple and hopefully warm one =)

many hipcups here and there, but i'm glad we managed to resolve it. the movie will go on, and to think next week i'm watching it again! i get to sleep today! =x or next week too. gosh. feels like needle is poking into my wallet already.

gosh if i keep on waiting, i'm gonna be late late! hmmmm. very bad aye. can't help it =( to think i even wanted to go earlier. can window shop! i like going into big big shops. very interesting i find. picked that up from someone i guess aye?

anyways, i'm listening to my blog songs while i'm typing. how cool is that!? and yesterday i revamp my desktop computer. it's moved so cool now! the CPU is once again working! i literally took the vacuum cleaner and suck all the dust from the motherboard along with other fans and parts. seesh it's tough work man. clean until flu came. too dusty. now my desktop look so clean and nice! =D

i threw away the sound system, as it's faulty. gonna get a new one soon. as soon as money comes in! omg. my pay haven't come!! argh!

oh well. what to do? i'm not that thrifty ayes?

i would take a picture of my desktop soon. lazy to do it now aye. and i restored the CD Rom le. hahahahas. now it's stuck to the desk. aiya, pictures will tell soon when uploaded.

i think someone's changed through the camp! no idea, just a feeling. time will reveal what's true or not.

i also just heard, the PaintBall idea has been scraped off. so sad. but in place of that, i gonna organise a LaserQuest instead! i think it's rather new -- at least i think most people haven't tried it. and it's wayyyyyyy cheaper! =D gonna ask opinions later on. did some math earlier, playing for an hour including booking and assuming we get minimum 6 players, each fork out about $23.50. i think it's reasonable! paintball is about $100! omg. lols.

date to be on WenTing's event. so we'll play after her event! =D place at bukit batok clubhouse! ^^ quite cool right?! =D

i'm so looking forward to that.

earlier on, someone asked a really interesting and direct question. i would say, my answer is 90% accurate! as for that 10%, i'll reserve it when time does whatever it's supposed to do! hahas.

and while listening and writing, i just realized something really interesting! i don't know what is at work, fate or just tricks of my mind, whatever i do, whenever there's music, i can always find a relation to the current mood.

for example, when i'm playing game, sometimes it'll play very upbeat music make me more kan chiong. sometimes when i emo, it plays emo songs. even when i'm trying not to be emo! hahas.

oh well. the tunes in fact, do create lyrics on my mind. very interesting huh?

and YOU! the one who's always curious, stop trying to read-whatever-is-hidden-in-whatever-i-typed! because it's just a plain-simple-blog-with-nothing-much-to-hide!

Musically Inclined

suddenly, i just felt like listening to tunes, melody. i guess it's like my soul searching period? suddenly emo. aiyo! don't nag me le. i emo is rare de okay?! not often. =D

i just felt like i'm missing out something, or perhaps i'm missing something. i felt like my life is incomplete aye?

think think think. my brain will die soon, from too much thinking! arhhhh!

Fork, Spoon, Knife and Chopsticks are great friends. One day, Fork, Knife and Chopsticks were talking, what everybody think of Spoon?

Knife said, "Spoon is pretty, curvy, shiny, smooth. Everybody wants Spoon!"
Chopsticks said, "I agree, Spoon is so desirable! Everybody loves Spoon!"
Fork said, "I agree to a certain extend. Spoon isn't exactly very pretty, just very compatiable to everybody?"

Suddenly the conversation came to a halt. Fork continued, "What if someone here goes out with Spoon?"

Knife stutteredly said, "I think that fella must be lucky to have Spoon!"
Chopsticks blurted, "Sad."

Question is, would everybody remain as a set if anyone got together with Spoon?

I always envy those born with a silver spoon in his mouth. they get everything they want, and they can just enjoy life. would you rather be rich or poor? it's got nothing to do with happiness!

anyways, i kinda like the last song on my playlist. it's nice, yet sad. recently what i've been through, i can kinda relate. like famous ZY said, everybody will have different relates to the same song. =D

I often close my eyes
And I can see you smile
You reach out for my hand
And I'm woken from my dream
Although your heart is mine
Its hollow inside
I never had your love
And I never will

And every night
I lie awake
Thinking maybe you love me
Like I've always loved you
But how can you love me
Like I loved you when
You can't even look me straight in my eyes

I've never felt this way
To be so in love
To have someone there
Yet feel so alone
Aren't you supposed to be
The one to wipe my tears
The on to say that you would never leave

The waters calm and still
My reflection is there
I see you holding me
But then you disappear
All that is left of you
Is a memory
On that only, exists in my dreams

And every night
I lie awake
Thinking maybe you love me
Like I've always loved you
But how can you love me
Like I loved you when
You can't even look me straight in my eyes

I don't know what hurts you
But I can feel it too
And it just hurts so much
To know that I can't do a thing
And deep down in my heart
Somehow I just know
That no matter what
I'll always love you

I often close my eyes
And I can see you smile
You reach out for my hand
And I'm woken from my dream
Although your heart is mine
Its hollow inside
I never had your love
And I never will

So why am I still here in the rain

i feel so inspired to that song, i want to pick up piano again, i want to compose again, i want to do so many things again!

i'm busy. you say i'm not, but i am. if only you know how to shift your perspective, you'll understand why. rawr!

Essence and Absence of Time

time is a really interesting subject and...object? what is time?

it is a constant that runs at constant speed no matter what happens. it is a measure of all things, from start till end. and it never stops.

when we are having fun, time seems to speed up which in fact didn't, and in our own peception did.

when we are having boring lectures or anything likewise, time seems to slow down so drastically that we are constantly aware of its presence.

it's only 2 months, but it seems long and i kind of dread the feeling. i lack touch.

it's been so long since i look at someone so closely and analytically, so fine and minute, that time seems to have pressed its mighty hands on my back, and telling me it has been long, move on.

but what am i truly afraid of? other than insects and bugs. i think i fear pain. i dreadfully fear pain. i think i have set up an aura of boundaries around myself, i can no longer feel pain after all, but yet it seems to be reflecting what i felt from years before. when the pain of persueing, and not getting it, wanting and not having it.

time heals, but time also makes you aware of certain things, like how much worth is needed to heal, and within that worth, lies destiny and fate which some believed.

i know exactly what i'm talking about in case you are wondering, but i just can't say it out in a straight direct manner, that perhaps in the whole world only i know what's inside of me, beyond those layers of shelter i built for myself.

all it took was a few words, and i laid my guard down. what is going on? i am afraid. of losing those that defines me, and yet i am in a situation of left hand right hand.

time.

weird, but yet wonderfully created.

second chances? i always want chances. to correct my path, to correct my ways, to do things again, to do things i didn't do, to do things i should've done, to the precious one i would've been with on in time, to do it all over again.

only regrets make you think that way, but what about regrets and yet still having that sense of not wanting to lose anything or anyone? what does that count? nothing in me has change yet. nothing, absolutely nothing since the wonderous moments.

those people in EDU wor, hahahas! jiayou bah. survive it if it's so tough like they say! =D

Happy 21st!

Yet another guy in OB is 21st le. Lim Cheng Yi! =D

Celebrated yesterday at Sentosa, did another stunt at the southen most point in Singapore, on the tower. words wouldn't describe as beautifully as i would put it, but pictures will. Facebook! =)

I'd say yesterday was hectic, and quite screwed bah. the eventual event missed the fireworks, TWICE! omg. i wouldn't hide i was very very disappointed, i felt we could have done better. the weather and all, it was simply just not good enough! =(

either way, hope we still touched you with our sincerity. =)

Just before the celebration, ran here and there, and made lots of white lies. from the start of meeting up with the people, i told them my bag had a glass sculptures, and it's very heavy. in fact, it's really the 30++ glasses inside my bag. it's fragile, and heavy. was really afraid i'd expose, so had to make up the white lie of working as presenter and with the prize in my bag. in actual fact, it's the deco for Cheng Yi. Haha! congrats to those who manage to think otherwise, and sorry to those who didn't. i had to do what i had to do! some people are just not that good at keeping secrets mah. and i have no time to find out that fact!

yesterday also did a very harsh decision. bought another party tank! aiyoyoyoyo! but i like! was gonna go for it anyways >,< WAKEBOARDING! wooohoooo! but i probably won't wear it so often?

anyways, i think my immunity system is much normal nowadays! rain doesn't cure my flu anymore. it gave me my flu last night before the event. i wasn't cold in the rain, before the shower. sorry for being the 'life' of the party aye? hope i didn't affect anyone uh =.=

i tried my best! flu is hateful you know? i hate flu. but since my system might be normal, does that mean fever will kick in instead of flu? =/ i seriously hate flu. any way to get rid of flu completely in my life?

yesterday watch Ice Age 3! IT WAS REALLY NICE! hurhur.

i think i half-slept watching the front part, and fully slept after the dino enter the new world?

practically dead by the end of the show luh. but when i woke up, the chills and cold kicked in like nobody's business! damn cold suddenly! but my runny nose sort of stopped running. just walking here and there until i reach home at 7am.

oh yeah, guess what!? i brought all the glasses there, i bring them all back! turns out, glasses packed nicely in boxes are MUCH EASIER ALTHOUGH HEAVIER TO CARRY!

and to someone who thinks i'm hiding something, seriously, what are you thinking? omg. i thought i'm like open paper le, not folded one. still think i hiding something. ask straight, it shall be answered.

The Script - The Man Who Can't Be Moved

Going back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag, I'm not gonna move
Got some words on cardboard, got your picture in my hand
Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am

Some try to hand me money, they don't understand
I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do
How can I move on when I've been in love with you

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'll see me waitinf ro you on the corner of the street

So I'm not moving
I'm not moving

Policeman says, "Son you can't stay here"
I said, "There's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'll see me waitinf ro you on the corner of the street

So I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving

People talk about the guy
Who's waiting on a girl
There are no holes in his shoes
But a big hole in his world

Maybe I'll get famous as the man who can't be moved
And maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news
And you'll come running to the corner
'Cause you know it's just for you

I'm the man who can't be moved
I'm the man who can't be moved

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'll see me waitinf ro you on the corner of the street

So I'm not moving
('Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me)
I'm not moving
(And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be)
I'm not moving
(Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet)
I'm not moving
(And you'll see me waitinf ro you on the corner of the street)

Going back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag, I'm not gonna move

This might be irritating, but I really like this song mah. so nice! =D

Went out earlier, bought somethings, bring them home all the way, then when i opened the package, to my horror, it's.... broken. cuts cuts cuts! i just realized something. i didn't feel anything on my finger until i saw blood just flowing out and dripping! amazing. no pain!

now i see how cuts can really hurt. why parents won't allow their kids near the broken glasses. you won't even know the glass pierced through luh! omg.

but it's a small cut on my finger luh, still alright =)

tomorrow going for the lecture in school, by this guy Mr. Khoo Swee Chiow. met him before on cruise Aqua. in StarCruise organised by SP. tml going down to see him again bah =)

wonder if he remembers me. i respect this guy man! gonna get something down =)

after talk probably joining OB for dinner bah. hahahahahahas!

then saturday, OB again! for a full day out and possibily tonning. but i'm not so sure about tonning, sunday meeting ming ming they all seh. 12pm at JP, for another day out. see how i'm gonna survive. hurhur.

I AM STRONG! I'm a superhero in my world, and I will bring that image (at least a little bit) into this reality! >,<

and every superhero will have to put on a mask.

Josh said no.

Josh was the most fortunate man on earth. He had many friends who loved him, siblings who grow up with him, parents who shower attention on him. Everything he wanted or asked for, he gets it.

One day, josh got hit by a truck and landed in hospital. His spirit left his body and God stood there, standing beside him.

God and Josh stood there for days while Josh's body was in coma. Days passed, friends and relatives came and went. Each single day, packs of friends and relatives sat by his bedside and wept. The all prayed to God for a miracle, that Josh would wake up safe and sound.

On the seventh day of his stay in the hospital, God asked Josh, "Look around you, look at the number of people who love you. Look at the worth of your life on this earth. Just one word from you, and i will allow you to go back to your earthly home, back to your friends and relatives, back to the people who love you. What say you?"

Josh turned his back to his lying body and the people who loved him, and his answer was no.

My question is, why did Josh say no?

I took this from Lyn's blog, i find it rather amusing yet it sets my mind thinking. eh eh, blog hopping hop until something like this is really interesting. her blog is full of..emotions? very unlike her. something i'd expect but never so deep.

So why?

Weird weird dream...

Last night i dreamt of someone whom i hadn't really talk to in a long long time. talk as in really talk..

it was a weird weird dream. and earlier, one of my friend told me, "sometimes, dreams are your secret desires." how true is that? i don't know. but i still don't believe it. LOL! just plain weird luh!

anyways, wow jewellcy can really compose mail! like first time i recieve this kind of mail from NPOB lei. so informative! lols. but seriously, deserves a praise. i will save it and use for future references =P

but seriously, what are dreams?

this post is so short. anyways, tomorrow going meet cousins, etc, then going meet clement before he goes in! botak clement! lols. i think he'd be comical. his hair is so long, so used to it already.

gonna pick something nice to wear later. just for fun ^^

Nostalgic

I was suddenly reminded of this song, and i wonder.. like what ZY mentioned, everybody may listen to the same song, but it could invoke different feelings and different meanings. what does it mean here?

I'm missing you
Girl even though you're right here by my side
Cause lately it seems
The distance between us is growing too wide

I'm so afraid that you're saying it's over
That's the last thing that I wanna hear

But if your heart's not in it for real
Please don't try to fake what you don't feel
If our love's already gone
It's not fair to lead me on
Cause I would give the whole world for you
Anything you ask of me I'd do
But I won't ask you to stay
I'd rather walk away
If your heart's not in it

You say that you love me
But baby sometimes
You're just saying the words
If you've got somethin' to tell me
Don't keep it inside
Let it be heard

I'm so afraid that you're saying it's over
But girl I'll make it easy for you

If your heart's not in it for real
Please don't try to fake what you don't feel
If our love's already gone
It's not fair to lead me on
Cause I would give the whole world for you
Anything you ask of me I'd do
But I won't ask you to stay
I'd rather walk away
If your heart's not in it

How I wish I could take us back in time
But it's gone too far now we can't rewind (And there's nothing that I can do
,to stop me losin' you)
I can't make you change your mind (If your heart's not in it)

If your heart's not in it for real
Please don't try to fake what you don't feel
But I won't ask you to stay
I'd rather walk away
If your heart's not in it for real
Please don't try to fake what you don't feel
If love's already gone
It's not fair to lead me on
Cause I would give the whole world for you
Anything you ask of me I'd do

Past 5 days at Suntec Convention Centre was interesting one. first day was not really good because i know nobody there and everybody seems to know each other already! left out. but caught up quickly as people are friendly, and by second day i'm already enjoying the job.

initially i thought our boss (all female ones) are rather fierce, but they kinda broke down to friendlier creatures as time pass. i guess they just don't want people to climb over their heads bah =)

if you wonder what i work there as, i'm a Conference Assistant. which means anything related to the conference, whatever our boss wants us to do, we do. :D

SKW! kinda. my main post would be gate keeper, and surprisingly the most lasting one. those counter girls kinda don't need to come anymore after the 2nd day. because they weren't so much in need.

i have done some pretty interesting jobs, including ushering, gate keeping, setting up laptops, keeping them too, ticket collection at gate, ticket collection inside lunch area (and it's a pain! EVERY TABLE GO DISTURB THEM TO TAKE COUPONS!), and even tearing down papers. 2nd and 3rd day i also went to NUS UCC for this public talk by nobel winnders. they sure can research, but presentation skills suck! why i say that? because they hypnotise me. rawr! within 5 minutes somemore!

anyways, felt really fat during the job. because everyday can eat until full full! especially at NUS there, the food was excellent. thursday also, the tea break had BUTTER FRIED WINGS! omg. ate like 15 wings! =.=

greedy? it's just too nice. took turns to hide in the room near our station to eat! lols.

i think the greatest and stupidest achievement is stopping the BOSS of the conference from entering the pass holder's area. actually, we stopped the friend's wife, but after some arguement and he kinda brought up our boss' (the female one) name, we let them through. it wasn't until after when we heard from other gate keepers that we just denied entry of this super big shot. O.O

doesn't matter much i guess. we just did our job ^^

and of course, met some really cool friends and people. those conference delegates i wouldn't say name, but some are really damn friendly! =) i think that's how you should be to everyone. be friendly! people will like you better =)

my partner, Stan, and other gate keepers like Samuel, Swee Kit, Damien, Kayson, Justin, Daniel, etc etc etc. and our bosses, Juveana, Joey, and CHIP YING! hahahahahahas.

anyways, conference can be tiring when i got home. but i guess it's another new experience. now i wanna try sales. or something like that. because i discovered something, i put on a smiley face even when i'm tired. like in the conference, nobody believed that i'm really tired. Daniel couldn't, Stan couldn't. it's really tiring to smile, to put on a mask. but that has become a natural reaction or instinct for me already.

and now...

just got msn talk...

update sometime later bah =)

adios!

partially, pear is connected to lyn

when times are tough, and you got lost, just hold on and wait for awhile. when darkness falls and breakaway, the sun will shine and you will find your way!

There are times when we all feel lost, alone, and just want to break away from everything and stop right where we are. it's common and it's normal.

i once had that feeling, and i remember it was when i recieved my O' level result, and realized i failed english. my goal was always to get into a junior college then to university. it was trashed right at that moment.

i teared, i cried, i shivered, i couldn't believe anything that was on my hands and mind.

but that was in the past, and look where i am now? i'm happy with my life, my friends, my achievement. although i could have done much better, but this will be a stepping stone for me. i now know what i really want to do. i want to create inspiration in others, be a beacon of hope.

but that is a big story for many small hearts around, and i just want to dedicate the next following to a friend!

i miss you, and hope you will pull through the situation. you have walked far enough, and it's determination on your part. although the hardest part is knowing when to let go, i still hope you'll never have to meet this part. but even if you do, we'll still welcome you back! =)

i may not be a good listener, or even a good cheer-up-buddy. but i still hope i'll make a tiny mini difference in your mood. in the better-mood sense of course! =)

also to some other friends, life is just a plain paper, how you paint it is up to you, but you only have one paper; let me see your master piece!

and also to................................
listen to my first song! hehehehs!